he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
