I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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