So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Randomize
