his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
