I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
