you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
