Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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