Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
