he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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