I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
