You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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