dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
