She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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