i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
