Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Are we still banned from the library?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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