doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
BRING THE BAGELS
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
