Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
