I think I died a long time ago.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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