direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
