Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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