id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Dick very happy bro
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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