I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
you traded sex for a burrito?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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