And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
