Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
