i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
