I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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