i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
