totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
