i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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