community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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