I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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