just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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