I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
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