I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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