The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
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We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
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I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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