Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
