i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
