I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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