Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
