it wasn't lemon gatorade
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
