Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
