i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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