so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
