do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
