Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
