haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
