she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
