FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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