I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
