These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
