i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
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Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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