You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
there is glitter all over my balls
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