Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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