True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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