Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
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Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
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There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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