We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
