I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
