I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
