I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
