with your own penis?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
