well I can't set my house on fire every night
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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